Yesterday was a good day. I went to the doctor's and had the ultrasound done by the nurse practioner. She went in to check my antral follile count.
The good news is: I have 7 follicles on each side! A total of 14! The NP said this was good news. She also said my progesterone test done the week before was very good. There is hope! She had me schedule an appt with my RE in a few days and discussed maybe starting the clomid challenge test. I got some lab test results back today. My estradiol went down so that is good. Last month it was 89 and today it was 71...so the good news is it's going down.
The bad news is: that I am only as good as my worst FSH test. =( Last month it was 13.3. Unfortunately just a few moments ago, I got my FSH results from this morning and it was 15.9. I am DEVASTATED! I want to cry but I have no more tears to cry. I just don't know what to think anymore. Why is this happening to me???!!!
Also another thing, I feel guilty moving on with the Clomid Challenge test. I've been doing acupuncture for 2 months really hoping I could beat infertility and do it on my own. Now I'm realizing that I might need a little push (or maybe eventually a big push) to get pregnant. I feel so guilty. I feel like a failure and that I've let myself down. I really didn't want to take any pills, shots or anything and here I go, ready to start. I dreaded telling my acupuncturist today that I might start clomid on Friday which is Day 5. She was okay with my decision. I know she wants me to keep trying with the acupuncture but after getting my FSH results today....I think I need to do more.
I vented to my infertility online support group and I got some really amazing feedback from them. Everyone has felt the same as me. I need to follow my heart and move forward with this. I cannot waste time and think it's going to get easier...because it won't. If I want a baby, I need to listen to my RE.
I feel so sick to my stomach. I meet with Dr. D'Amico at noon and hoping for the best!!
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