Yep....it's one of those days where I have been throwing myself a Pity Party. I hate when I get in that type of mood. Even though it's not true...I just feel like no one "gets it" with me. Maybe I want people to feel sorry for me and swoon and give me attention...who knows but the reactions I get from "some" people (not all) is just not what I want to hear. I just feel so not optomistic about any of this. Part of me feels like I will go through all of these IVF treatments left with nothing. I've felt rejected so much lately that I can't even imagine something positive even happening. I want a baby so bad that it's just really wearing on me. I have so much to look forward to with this Europe vacation that I just can't even be excited about it. I can't wait for it to be over so that in November I can get the ball started with the treatments. Sad huh?
I can't imagine my life without being a Mom...except that part of me dreads that it might never ever happen for us. I hate this feeling. I always told myself that the biggest pain in my life is knowing I could never have children...and I just feel like it's come true.
I really hope all of this heartache, sadness and $$$$$ is worth it one day.....
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