Making the decision to step back from all of this infertility stuff has surprisingly not been as hard as I thought. I do still cry...a lot! Friday I cried and it felt good. I do most of my crying in my car when I hear a song on the radio that reminds me of love loss. It's okay though....I remind myself that it's okay to cry because what I am going through is like losing a loved one. Eventually the happy times will come.
Hsien and I had a really good talk on Thursday night...so happy about that! He told me not to worry about money because he dosen't. That struck me as a good thing and he is on board with whatever we need to do to become parents. I asked him if he wanted to do all of this stuff or just go straight into adoption. He said he wanted to try first for a child that was biologically from us. If that didn't work out, adoption would be fine too! So either way...in some way...Hsien and I are going to be parents in the future.
I truly am so lucky to have Hsien in my life. I tend to be an emotional rollercoaster and he is just so calm and level headed. We really do make a great team. I need to appreciate him more and not take him for granted. I decided to hug and kiss him more and show how much he means to me more. Not that I wasn't before but I think I should kiss him every night before bed and when we wake up to remind myself of how lucky I got!
This really has been a good weekend. I have had so much positive feedback on here from dear friends that it's overwhelmind. I am truly blessed. I also got a chance to talk to someone whom I have considered my best friend for so many years. Her and I have not been as close as we should for a while now. I am glad we talked and got out all of our feelings. I feel like the walls are coming down and that is a wonderful thing. I plan to share this blog with her soon. Love you so much B.S. (those are her initials....I am not saying Bull S#*% Ha! Ha!)
Love is in the air today!
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