Tomorrow is the big day...

So I start my fertility drugs tomorrow night! I am full of mixed emotions...mostly overwhelmed right now. So much going through my head and keeping appts clear and what to do...ahhhh! I feel so lost!

I had my appt at 11am today with my nurse practitioner. She did an ultrasound and checked out my ovaries and follicles. Everything looking good. I sat with her in her office and she went through what to do next. I also had her go through my herbs and vitamins and she weeded out the ones she no longer wanted me to take.

First order of business was to pickup all of the medication today. I get to the pharmacy and pickup my BIG bag of stuff. Total cost...$515!!!! The pharmacy clerk took a double take, I almost cried and the people behind me gasped at the price on the register. Damn! And that is only for the next 5 days or so. It also does not include the $127 I paid for the ultrasound today. I really really really hope this only takes one time. I cannot handle doing this over and over every month! Yikes! And that is with our insurance which is pretty good. We get 50% off infertility things.

So now we have a lot of papers to go through and read. Hsien needs to do a blood test. It's a legal thing because his sperm being put into me is considered a "transplant" and by law there has to be an HIV test done.

Next I do the drugs for the next 5 nights (I think...I still need to read everything). I go and do a blood test on Monday morning early in the morning and come back to the doctor at 2:30pm for an ultrasound. At this point she will know if the medication is working or not. Then at that point, we test and wait for my ovulation for the IUI procedure. My guess it will happen around Monday before Thanksgiving. And if I haven't said it already....I really hope this works this time!!! I need to stay positive...I have to or I will go crazy!

Off to read up on my meds and go through all of the boxes of stuff. I am feeling overwhelmed but okay. I kind of feel alone in all of this. Hsien was going to join me for my doctor's appt and he forgot. I kept calling but he was in a meeting. He felt bad but part of me feels like I am only doing this for myself. I know he means well but he dosen't fully "get it". I really think he should be a part of all of this. This is also his kid we are trying to make! Ahhh...I need a nap and a good cry.