I had a great weekend....busy but kept my mind off of babies and such. Of course that didn't stop us since I am ovulating ;) Thank God that I am! So excited to see that little egg indicator on my fertility monitor this morning. Yipppeee!
I was very happy to see a friend of mine at Ariel Dance yesterday. She knows about my fertility struggles and offered to give me books and some things. She gave me a very cute rabbit ceramic figurine. She said she use to keep it under her bed to help her get pregnant. I was so grateful for the gift and her kindness. I am hoping it brings me good luck!
I had another acupuncture appt today and it went great! Wow...I fell asleep. I was happy that the appt went much longer then it should have. I got a good one hour of relaxation. After that, I headed over to see Kate to have a Reiki session. It was a cool experience. I saw all of these bright colors and then it faded to dark on several occasions. Not sure what it meant but it was cool. Kate told me that my energy was good and that a lot of things she felt last week, she didn't feel this week. She did say that one reoccuring energy was on my right side ovary area. I told her that is where I feel the sensations the most when ovulating, but never on my other side. We will see if Thursday the energy is still there in that area. If so, it might be something to address with my doctor. She also said that I have something stuck in my throat and that I am holding back words that I want to say. Not sure what it is yet...maybe eventually I will figure it out and express myself. Definitely a great experience tonight and looking forward to Thursday night with her!
I received a really cool fortune tonight with dinner in my cookies. It said that I would going to be making a new important relationship soon. I wonder if it might be a baby! I can only hope....
That is it for now!
Monday, August 30, 2010
Thursday, August 26, 2010
First Appt with the RE today
Today went much better then expected. I was nervous to meet my RE (reproductive encronologist)because several reviews online said his bedside manner wasn't very good. Such a nice surprise to meet him and like him. He was thorough and informative and did not rush me. Nothing I hate more then being rushed especially when it's something important.
He was concerned about my FSH and estradiol levels and felt both were too high. He can't seen any other problems with me except those two but they are a cause for alarm. Without them under control, this whole process could be long and emotional.
He wants me to have my progesterone tested 7 days after I ovulate first. Then after that, if I get my period, to have my Day 3 lab tests again for FSH and estradiol and see if it has made any changes. After that, he wants to schedule me for an ultrasound exam and check out my ovaries. When all of these are done, we will meet again to go through results and see where to proceed next. I am really hoping the acupuncture will make a difference with my lab results. I am not ready for drugs, shots or hormones quite yet!
Been researching like crazy and getting lots of great information from my "The Infertility Cure" book. My guess right now just from what I have read is that my blood needs help. I need better blood flow to my ovaries which is why I am doing acupuncture. From the past just having anemia and the bout with unexplained anemia back in 2001, I really think I need to get my blood in check. I am doing better to avoid dairy products right now and cut back on soy. Also trying to maintain eating and drinking warm things rather then cold. It's hard since I am always craving ice tea but I can certainly cut it out for now.
Also the doctor recommended that I chart my temperatures everyday, so I need to run to Kaiser sometime this weekend and pickup a basal thermometer and get started charting! Should be interesting to see how my body temperature changes!
Still staying positive!
He was concerned about my FSH and estradiol levels and felt both were too high. He can't seen any other problems with me except those two but they are a cause for alarm. Without them under control, this whole process could be long and emotional.
He wants me to have my progesterone tested 7 days after I ovulate first. Then after that, if I get my period, to have my Day 3 lab tests again for FSH and estradiol and see if it has made any changes. After that, he wants to schedule me for an ultrasound exam and check out my ovaries. When all of these are done, we will meet again to go through results and see where to proceed next. I am really hoping the acupuncture will make a difference with my lab results. I am not ready for drugs, shots or hormones quite yet!
Been researching like crazy and getting lots of great information from my "The Infertility Cure" book. My guess right now just from what I have read is that my blood needs help. I need better blood flow to my ovaries which is why I am doing acupuncture. From the past just having anemia and the bout with unexplained anemia back in 2001, I really think I need to get my blood in check. I am doing better to avoid dairy products right now and cut back on soy. Also trying to maintain eating and drinking warm things rather then cold. It's hard since I am always craving ice tea but I can certainly cut it out for now.
Also the doctor recommended that I chart my temperatures everyday, so I need to run to Kaiser sometime this weekend and pickup a basal thermometer and get started charting! Should be interesting to see how my body temperature changes!
Still staying positive!
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Resentment in my Spleen
Today was awesome....did a lot as far as dealing with my infertility. I had a great acupuncture session and after that went to see my friend Kate for my Reiki session with her at her home. She welcomed me with open arms and a new hair do and escorted my upstairs to her meditation room with her table. She explained to me what she was going to do and told me to just relax and close my eyes on the table. She was going to run her hands over my body to feel my energy. It was a pretty relaxing session. The only thing I noticed was in the beginning my ankles twitched a little bit (like tiny bubbles popping in them) and when I breathed out, I got a little lightheaded for a few minutes. Kate explained that it might have been the part when she was "grounding" me. I also had pressure in my sinus passages the whole time that is not normally there when I am lying down. I had a warm mentholy sensation coming from my toes as well. Nothing extraordinary about the sensations I felt but enough for me to notice them. She felt my energy for about 30 minutes. When she woke up me told me a few things that were very interesting.
-the top of my head has lots of positive energy
-my stomach area holds my emotions. She sensed something holding me down in that area.
-my right ovary she felt an energy from
-my spleen had a resentful energy. She stated that I hold a lot of feelings about how people will feel or react if I don't have children. I never thought about how others would react but it certainly could be a subconscious feeling.
-she felt an energy from my left knee but could not figure out what it is
She told me to start imaginging myself with a child in a beautiful room. Imagine that the child is mine and that this will happen. If we imagine ourselves in the sitaution we want, our energy will help us to obtain our goals.
It was a very nice and relaxing session with her! I asked if I could do something for her like take her to dinner or something but she was happy to do these sessions with me. She gets a lot out of them as well and for her benefit to learn. She has been practicing Reiki for 3 years and it's more of a side hobby then anything. She works as an engineer full time and does this to relax. I will see her on Monday and practice my visual homework about imaging myself with a beautiful baby in a beautiful room. In fact...I am going to go further, I am going to imagine myself with TWINS! Why not....it can't hurt to wish ;)
-the top of my head has lots of positive energy
-my stomach area holds my emotions. She sensed something holding me down in that area.
-my right ovary she felt an energy from
-my spleen had a resentful energy. She stated that I hold a lot of feelings about how people will feel or react if I don't have children. I never thought about how others would react but it certainly could be a subconscious feeling.
-she felt an energy from my left knee but could not figure out what it is
She told me to start imaginging myself with a child in a beautiful room. Imagine that the child is mine and that this will happen. If we imagine ourselves in the sitaution we want, our energy will help us to obtain our goals.
It was a very nice and relaxing session with her! I asked if I could do something for her like take her to dinner or something but she was happy to do these sessions with me. She gets a lot out of them as well and for her benefit to learn. She has been practicing Reiki for 3 years and it's more of a side hobby then anything. She works as an engineer full time and does this to relax. I will see her on Monday and practice my visual homework about imaging myself with a beautiful baby in a beautiful room. In fact...I am going to go further, I am going to imagine myself with TWINS! Why not....it can't hurt to wish ;)
Reiki
I started reading "The Infertility Cure" and it has been great! Learning tons of information about Traditional Chinese Medicine going hand in hand with Western Medicine. I am still on the bandwagon that I want to do this as holistic as I possibly can.
So last night, I opened up again to people who don't know about my infertilty. I have been taking a Meditation class now for a couple of months with Paul and Kate. They live in Willow Glen and open up their home to people who want to meditate and also discuss self awareness. It has been such an invaluable resource to me right now. I don't think they fully understand how much they effected me until maybe now. Paul asked everyone last night about Mustard seeds and if we had any over the past two weeks. I was a bit nervous to share at first so I let another person go ahead of me. Finally....I released my feelings about what was going on with me and explaining how I had decided to be as natural about this as possible. I want to avoid pills, shots and hormones right now and with acupuncture, meditation and eating well. Kate and Paul were so loving about all of it and asked if Kate could do a Reiki session with me. I wasn't really sure what Reiki was but after doing some research it's healing with your hands which also promotes relaxation. I am really looking forward to my first session with her tonight at 6:30pm. I feel like i need to do something nice for her and for Paul. I am just not sure what yet. Do I pay them? I have no idea....I guess I could offer. I am just not sure but I am looking forward to my session with Kate tonight. I also have an acupuncture appt at 5pm. I have lots of healing to look forward to tonight!
A friend of mine told me today that her 20 year old niece is pregnant. This niece has been trying to get pregnant for some time and is currently engaged. I guess she feels she has to do it now and dosen't want to get too "old". This news broke my heart....why can't that be me!? She is too young to be having babies but I need to stop being judgemental and realize that it isn't my life and I need to accept that. Hopefully my time will come and it will be wonderful and special.
I have my first RE appt tomorrow at 2:30pm. Looking forward to it...not sure what to expect really. Kinda nervous though. Hsien won't be with me and I wish he would be there with me. After the appt, I am heading out to Sonora with M.E. so that is something to look forward to and her and I can talk in the car on the way there about what has been happening.
I am thinking about changing the name of my Blog....thinking maybe it's a bit negative. I will have to think up a better Blog name that is a bit more positive. I need positive energy right now!
So last night, I opened up again to people who don't know about my infertilty. I have been taking a Meditation class now for a couple of months with Paul and Kate. They live in Willow Glen and open up their home to people who want to meditate and also discuss self awareness. It has been such an invaluable resource to me right now. I don't think they fully understand how much they effected me until maybe now. Paul asked everyone last night about Mustard seeds and if we had any over the past two weeks. I was a bit nervous to share at first so I let another person go ahead of me. Finally....I released my feelings about what was going on with me and explaining how I had decided to be as natural about this as possible. I want to avoid pills, shots and hormones right now and with acupuncture, meditation and eating well. Kate and Paul were so loving about all of it and asked if Kate could do a Reiki session with me. I wasn't really sure what Reiki was but after doing some research it's healing with your hands which also promotes relaxation. I am really looking forward to my first session with her tonight at 6:30pm. I feel like i need to do something nice for her and for Paul. I am just not sure what yet. Do I pay them? I have no idea....I guess I could offer. I am just not sure but I am looking forward to my session with Kate tonight. I also have an acupuncture appt at 5pm. I have lots of healing to look forward to tonight!
A friend of mine told me today that her 20 year old niece is pregnant. This niece has been trying to get pregnant for some time and is currently engaged. I guess she feels she has to do it now and dosen't want to get too "old". This news broke my heart....why can't that be me!? She is too young to be having babies but I need to stop being judgemental and realize that it isn't my life and I need to accept that. Hopefully my time will come and it will be wonderful and special.
I have my first RE appt tomorrow at 2:30pm. Looking forward to it...not sure what to expect really. Kinda nervous though. Hsien won't be with me and I wish he would be there with me. After the appt, I am heading out to Sonora with M.E. so that is something to look forward to and her and I can talk in the car on the way there about what has been happening.
I am thinking about changing the name of my Blog....thinking maybe it's a bit negative. I will have to think up a better Blog name that is a bit more positive. I need positive energy right now!
Monday, August 23, 2010
Why can't I be born rich?
Some things have happened since I last wrote. I have done tons of research on high FSH and ready to tackle this "diagnosis". I found a new acupuncturist that is more affordable and is caring and compassionate about infertility. I am hoping that my time with her will help my FSH. It's expensive unfortunately and Hsien and I had a long talk about it this afternoon. He dosen't understand why I just don't see what the RE says and start taking shots and hormones. I REALLY don't want to do that yet. I want to give acupuncture a shot first (no pun intended). I know it's expensive but if I can be proactive and do this now, I might be able to avoid us having to go down the IVF route which will be a lot more expensive and daunting physically and emotionally. It's all so emotionally draining and hurting our bank account already.
It pisses me off that crack addicts and alcoholics can get pregnant without even trying and someone like me has to go through all these hoops to even conceive. I tell ya...life is not fair!
I read "Inconceivable" over the weekend and it helped me a lot. The woman in the book also has high FSH but hers was a bit extreme. She was 42 at the time and had a level of 42. At least mine at 13.3 is someone do-able in getting under control. I am anxious to see how my FSH levels do the next blood test. Please please please please show some sign of improvement so that I can prove to Hsien that I am not crazy!
Excited also about my RE appt on Thursday. Hopefully they don't shove IVF down my throat off the bat. I want to see other options first as hormone free as possible!
Well I am off to start reading "The Infertility Cure" now...hoping to be enlighted by another fertility book. Staying positive!!
It pisses me off that crack addicts and alcoholics can get pregnant without even trying and someone like me has to go through all these hoops to even conceive. I tell ya...life is not fair!
I read "Inconceivable" over the weekend and it helped me a lot. The woman in the book also has high FSH but hers was a bit extreme. She was 42 at the time and had a level of 42. At least mine at 13.3 is someone do-able in getting under control. I am anxious to see how my FSH levels do the next blood test. Please please please please show some sign of improvement so that I can prove to Hsien that I am not crazy!
Excited also about my RE appt on Thursday. Hopefully they don't shove IVF down my throat off the bat. I want to see other options first as hormone free as possible!
Well I am off to start reading "The Infertility Cure" now...hoping to be enlighted by another fertility book. Staying positive!!
Thursday, August 19, 2010
I shared
I finally shared my Blog for the first time today...it took a lot of guts for me to do it, but I did it. Having my dear friend M.E. read it helped me to know that I can't be ashamed or alone in all of this. I am lucky for my friend M.E. *waving to her!* who is so selfless and loving and such a dear dear friend to me. I am glad I am sharing.....
I got my two books in the mail that I ordered...."Inconceivable" and "The Fertility Cure". Going to start reading after I am done blogging here.
Today was a good day...no tears were shed. I think going to the acupuncture helped and just research in general has helped me. Funny thing...I had a friend reach out to me today and I had no idea that she knew I was struggling with fertility. Maybe it was my totally random posts and videos I put on FB and she put two and two together. She asked me if I would like to have two fertility books of hers. Took me totally off guard since her and I are not that close. We dance together and she is a dance teacher at the studio I go to. I guess she saw a few things I posted on FB. That is the only way but I am glad she reached out to me. I asked her if she had struggled with fertlity as well. I know it's a lot to ask of someone but I felt like maybe her and I could talk about it if she did. Her kids are older...13 and 9 and she is in her mid 40s (I think!). I wonder what she will respond back with!
Okay I am rambling...off to read my fertility books now and learn!
Thanks M.E. for reading my blog! Not sure when I will be ready to let others read quite yet. Not sure I am ready for people to read my personal thoughts yet....
I got my two books in the mail that I ordered...."Inconceivable" and "The Fertility Cure". Going to start reading after I am done blogging here.
Today was a good day...no tears were shed. I think going to the acupuncture helped and just research in general has helped me. Funny thing...I had a friend reach out to me today and I had no idea that she knew I was struggling with fertility. Maybe it was my totally random posts and videos I put on FB and she put two and two together. She asked me if I would like to have two fertility books of hers. Took me totally off guard since her and I are not that close. We dance together and she is a dance teacher at the studio I go to. I guess she saw a few things I posted on FB. That is the only way but I am glad she reached out to me. I asked her if she had struggled with fertlity as well. I know it's a lot to ask of someone but I felt like maybe her and I could talk about it if she did. Her kids are older...13 and 9 and she is in her mid 40s (I think!). I wonder what she will respond back with!
Okay I am rambling...off to read my fertility books now and learn!
Thanks M.E. for reading my blog! Not sure when I will be ready to let others read quite yet. Not sure I am ready for people to read my personal thoughts yet....
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
A few changes....
After talking with Hsien about the acupuncturist and his prices, we decided to see if Kaiser had a discount program. Well wouldn't ya know it...they do! 20% off! Maybe it's 25% off...I forgot but whatever...that is great! So I did some research on Yelp of every Acupuncture doctor listed on Kaiser's provider list and I think I found one! Not only is she much less but she is closer to work/home. Yahoo! I called and actually got to talk to the doctor for a moment. I told her my concerns and problems and she specializes also in fertility and has had a lot of success with helping women get pregnant. What a relief...and now we can save some money as well. I made an appt to see her next Monday and will be cancelling my other appointment. *phew* This stuff takes some time, research and dedication but glad it worked out. Hopefully this new doctor will be just as awesome as Dr. Lee.
Today, I had two fried eggs with some hot sauce. Trying to follow the doctor's orders of eating an egg a day. I hardboiled a few more to take to work with me everyday as well.
I also got some Jasmine oil that helps with fertility. Going to put that on twice a day. It smells so pretty! It's funny how you will do just about anything to achieve one big thing.
Did a detox session with Diane who has been such a lifesaver to me. She is such a sweet and carrying soul and really wanting to help me get pregnant. I did a foot bath detox today for the first time which was really interesting. All of these toxins came out of my feet! I also did a colon hydro-cleanse as well which seems to be helping release toxins from my body. I love going to see her. I wish I could afford to see her more!
Went for a 30 minute run today as well...first time ever that I have ran 30 minutes without stopping. I am getting better at this! My "Couch to 5k" program has really helped me to run again and get good at it. My acupuncturist says that exercise is good for circulation so I will continue the running and exercises that he suggests I do every day.
Looking forward to a date night with some girlfriends to see "Eat Pray Love"...it will be nice to take my mind off of myself for a while ;)
Today, I had two fried eggs with some hot sauce. Trying to follow the doctor's orders of eating an egg a day. I hardboiled a few more to take to work with me everyday as well.
I also got some Jasmine oil that helps with fertility. Going to put that on twice a day. It smells so pretty! It's funny how you will do just about anything to achieve one big thing.
Did a detox session with Diane who has been such a lifesaver to me. She is such a sweet and carrying soul and really wanting to help me get pregnant. I did a foot bath detox today for the first time which was really interesting. All of these toxins came out of my feet! I also did a colon hydro-cleanse as well which seems to be helping release toxins from my body. I love going to see her. I wish I could afford to see her more!
Went for a 30 minute run today as well...first time ever that I have ran 30 minutes without stopping. I am getting better at this! My "Couch to 5k" program has really helped me to run again and get good at it. My acupuncturist says that exercise is good for circulation so I will continue the running and exercises that he suggests I do every day.
Looking forward to a date night with some girlfriends to see "Eat Pray Love"...it will be nice to take my mind off of myself for a while ;)
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