Shots in the Car

I had an ultrasound appt today to see how my body was responding to Femara and the Menopur this month. What a letdown...my body was responding poorly. My estradiol level was 58 and it's Day 7. Last time around this time it was about 130 so it's wayyy below what it should be. The RE was concerned and not happy. She cancelled the ultrasound because she didn't want to waste my money because there wouldn't be anything to see. I guess Femara was not a good thing for me to take. So irriated because I did not like the way Femara made me feel....itchy and last night when I was changing into my pajamas, I noticed that the tips of my nipples were WHITE! (not a discharge but the nipple itself!) Freaked me out! Luckily I pushed on them and they came back to the normal color but crap!

So anyways....she has totally doubled my dose of Menopur. Told me to take 225ui as soon as I left her office and to take another 225ui tonight. She wants me to take 150ui every morning and 225ui every night until Friday morning when she checks my estradiol level again. She wanted me to go home to do the shots but I couldn't leave. I had carpooled with my husband that day and he wasn't ready to go until at least 5:30pm and my appt ended about 3pm. So after I picked up the Menopur at the pharmacy, I just gave myself the shot in my car. I had no other way. I wasn't going to do it at work in the bathroom or in the parking lot because the last thing I need right now is for a co-worker to see me giving myself a shot. It worked out...quick and I am a pro at this now anyways. Was a little worried that I had no alcohol to clean but oh well!

So frustrated....I just feel totally set back right now. Trying not to get discouraged because there is still time to get my eggs to mature. I guess I won't freak out until I see her Friday afternoon for my appt. No more Femara and hoping the double dose of Menopur does the trick.

And of course when I went to pay for my Menopur, the pharmacy clerk rings me up and says "Wow this is a lot!". I wanted to tell her "NO SHIT!" but I just mumbled "I don't wish this on anyone". She asked me "What?" and I told her "Nevermind" because I was about to cry. I left and let myself cry in the car. Thank God my husband assured me to not worry about the money and to follow what our doctor says. It's out of our control and no point in getting upset. It's hard for me not to ...thank God he makes me feel better.

Was really hoping to occupy my time and do Christmas cards tonight but of course those didn't come in the mail...crap!! By the time they come in the mail, it will be too late. So irriatated!!!

Okay I am done venting for now. Just hoping this whole cycle is not a total waste of time.