Jumped the gun...again!!

I know we have all done this....self-diagnosed ourselves and then jump to conclusions and upset ourselves and only make things worst...right? I did that today and I feel so stupid!

After Mondays letdown I was already telling myself that this cycle was going to be a bust. My body was not reacting well to Femara and so the Menopur wasn't working as well as it usually does. My RE doubled my injections of Menopur to make up for lost time basically. Frustrated but went along with it. Today I had an ultrasound scheduled to see how my follicles were doing. They tested my estradiol before 8am this morning. I got the results back via e-mail about 1pm and it was 181. I remember the last time my estradiol was over 300 so I was BUMMED! I kept telling myself that this whole thing was a waste of time and saying all of these really awful things like "IUI is a joke"..."My RE is an idiot"..."I am broken"...just thinking all these hateful things. My husband called me on my way to the RE appt and I was bawling on the phone with him. Poor guy...he could only muster the words "I am so sorry" to me. Told him I would call him after the appt. Walked into the doctor's today with tears in my eyes.

See the RE and tell her that I am bummed when she asks how I am doing. Told her I saw my estradiol lab results so I am pretty sure this cycle is a bust. She tells me that I beat her to the results and what they were. When I told her 181, she looked at me and said "That's pretty good! We want over 100!". Wow what a relief to hear those words! What was I even thinking that I had to be over 300?! Not even sure why I came up with that. So she checked my follicles via u/s and there were the three most beautiful things I ever saw....THREE FOLLICLES at 10-12 mm!!!!! Yeahhhhh! My lining at 7.7 which was great she said. She wants me to continue the high dose of Menopur and is pretty certain that I will have at least 2-3 mature follicles ready to go comes time for the IUI next week. OMG! I was estatic after the appt...I was skipping and smiley. YES!!!! I go back in for an ultrasound on Monday and they will let me know when to do my trigger shot. Looks like Tues afternoon or Wed is my IUI!! Yeahhhhhhhh!!!!!

I even bought Christmas socks today....I plan to wear them during my IUI! ;)