A HUGE sigh of relief!!!!

I wrote this on Thursday night.......

I can finally say that I can breathe a sigh of relief and enjoy what is going on right now. Of course nothing is for certain and I am sure there will be plenty of more obstacles with this pregnancy but I feel great right now.

This morning my husband and I went to the doctor appt and had another full ultrasound measuring the babies and checking them out. I think this u/s technician did not like my husband LOL! She was being such a bitch to him. I felt bad...poor guy. She was so sweet to me....I have no idea what her problem with him was. He accidently bumped the table while she was doing the u/s and she stops looks at him and says "Okay. I am going to ask you to not touch the table at all during this appt". I wanted to bust up laughing because it was so crude the way she said it. My poor husband sheepishly says "Oh. Sorry". I just grabbed his shoulder and said "It's okay babe. It was an accident...I know that". I know he was irritated with her. Then he decides to take his phone out of his pocket because it was poking him and the light came on and again she says in the same exact tone and manner "Okay. I am going to ask you not to have your phone on during the appt. The light is distracting and I have a lot to look at here." OMG! I just told the tech that it won't happen again and looked at my husband who wouldn't look at me...he was pissed LOL! Anyways...that was the funny part of the appt.

So...Dr Lin comes in about an hour later to check out the results of the u/s. I had her as my doctor at my 12 week scan and I really liked her. I felt like she explained things well and spoke to me in a manner that was calm and straightforward.

She addressed all of the concerns that the other doctor had on Friday looking at the scans. She saw no problem of the heart (thank God!) She says generally they don't check the heart until 20 weeks because it's not really fully developed until then. She showed me the chambers and went through the heart and the blood pumping. Then on the hands because the last doctor felt like she had abnormal hands. Well we looked at her hands and they looked great....all 4 fingers and a thumb and we could clearly see the bones. Again....wonderful news to hear!

Her only two concerns were of course the slow growth. Grace is still measuring 2 weeks behind BUT she has grown since last Friday's ultrasound which was encouraging. The other thing she noticed was with the placenta there is usually 3 vessel cords which go from the umbilical cord to the placenta....she has 2 which might be causing her slow growth or not. My husband and I left the appt feeling MUCH better. Still I was a bit annoyed at what the other doctor said...I know she isn't God and she isn't perfect but she really got me worked up in a bad way. =(

So after the appt, my husband left for work and I went to grab a bite at a local deli. Dr Lin called me at that time and asked me if it was okay if I come back to see her today or tomorrow. She was really concerned about the placentas and didn't feel like she got a good look at them today. I said I could be there in 15 mins. She met me back at the same room during lunch hour so no one was there and she could spend as much time as she needed. Really made me feel better that she cared enough to look and have me come in at no cost. She found the 3 placentas and was happy to see that so they are definitely fraternal. This was reassuring because if something does go wrong with one of the babies, the other two will be self sufficent because of their placentas. She wants me to come back next Wed to take a look again. She also asked me about my job and I told her that for the most part my job is a desk job but I do have site inspections that I go on 1-3 times a week and have to drive around and meet clients and check on things. She told me she no longer wants me to do that part of my job and to strictly stick to sitting at a desk. She wants me off my feet as much as possible right now. She wrote me a note and I will give it to my boss tomorrow....I am sure she will "love" that LOL! Oh well.....not my worry any more!

So overall it was a great day and I feel a huge sense of relief...of course things are still high risk and I am sure anything can happen at this point but I feel better...much better! I actually enjoyed my day! I went and got my hair cut finally after 3 months and I can wake up tomorrow feeling beautiful and knowing my babies are awesome!

Today I am 18 weeks and 3 days....moving quickly!

Thank you for all of the prayers, good advice and love....I think it really did help us get back on track! xoxxo

Bittersweet

Yesterday we had our big anatomy ultrasound and found out that we are having 2 girls and a boy! So amazing and what a nice surprise!! I was for certain we were having 3 boys! LOL!

All seemed to go well during our appt until the end when the doctor came in. I didn't see it coming at all.....but the doctor sat with me and said that the tech may have found some abnormalties with Baby Girl C. She is growing 2 weeks behind her brother and sister and appears to have a heart defect. I didn't even know what to say through all of this but the tears started pouring out and that was when I cried harder then I have ever before on that ultrasound table. How could this be happening at almost 18 weeks along? Could we really lose one of our babies in utero?

We have decided at this time to go on as normal.....tell everyone about the triplets being a boy and 2 girls because there is still that chance that she might make it. I have an appt next Thursday with the genetic counselor and to schedule an amnio and whatever else I have to do.

I am so sad today....I should be screaming from the top of my lungs about this. I called my parents and brother about the great news about the boy and the girls but it was so hard for me to hold back tears. I just do not have the energy or will to tell them what is going on. I can't break their hearts. There is still that chance that she will make it!! Yesterday was suppose to be a great day for us knowing the genders but instead I was sad and cried all day about the news.

I woke up today feeling more positive. I cried a lot yesterday and my husband and I talked and agreed not to jump to any conclusions or drastic measures until we have more answers and get at least 3 doctors opinions of all of this. Miracles happen every single day. She might be small and she might have a heart problem.....but she can survive! She comes from a longggg line of strong women (my Mom in particular!) and I was born 2 months early weighting 3lbs 6 oz and I have lived a happy normal life. I just have to keep believing in her to win this fight. All day yesterday I was rubbing to the right of my belly button where she is growing right now. I talk to her and tell her to be strong. I also talk to her siblings and tell them to help her grow healthy. As sad as this all is for me and my husband, I want her to survive, not for us two but for her siblings. I want them to have a sister! I think that is very special. I have a name for her that I want to call her even if she does not survive. I need to talk to my husband and see how he feels about naming her now. I think it will be good for all of us to have an identity for her.

Last night after dinner, my husband and I were driving home and on the radio came on "You're the Inspiration" by Chicago...still one of my all time favorite songs. My husband just started belting out all of the words singing in the car so loudly to the song. I was shocked! I had no idea he even knew about this song! I asked him "When did you ever start listening to Chicago?". He said "What do you mean? I have always loved this song. They are such a great band!" I was shocked! I love that song! And of course listening to the lyrics last night I was BAWLING in the car....completely reminds me of what we are going through right now together. I feel so lucky and blessed with him.

Today is a new day....I have to keep believing that she will get through all of this and I need to stay strong for all three of my babies. Shutting down and thinking the worst is not healthy right now. I still cry but I am only human. I plan to do some retail therapy today. Maybe finally go out and get the babies some things! I also need some more maternity pants...the one pair of pants and shorts I have is not cutting it right now. ;) I updated our babies registry to reflect Bumbo seats in pink, blue and purple! I think those are some nice colors together.

For now, I continue to be the Mom of 3 beautiful children and hope that never changes. Hoping for more answers in the next month or so.

16 weeks!

Wow I cannot believe I am 16 weeks pregnant today! So far so good! I haven't had an ultrasound to see my little ones in over 3 weeks but I am still feeling good. We have our big ultrasound next Friday the 10th and should find out the genders for sure. Super excited! It will be nice to finally start discussing names and calling them by names and identifying them.

I don't have much to report honestly! I have some lower pressure in my bladder quite often but I think it's because the babies are sitting right on my bladder. My tailbone bothers me from time to time as well but thinking if I get a donut pillow that it will help with the pressure. I still feel great and not as tired as I was in the beginning.

We are right in the process of packing and getting ready for our big move on Saturday. I cannot wait to be done and moved already! Luckily my husband has been awesome with doing all of the lifting and bringing boxes over to the new home. I stay busy packing and uncluttering things which hasn't been too bad. Just a few more days living in this condo and away from that crazy neighbor! Yeahhh!

That is all for now! xoxo

Second Trimester! Wow!

Finally passed the first trimester mark this week! Yeah! Of course as sad as it is, I am still cautiously optimistic and hopeful to bring my three babies home with me safe and healthy one day.

Nothing new to report really since my last ultrasound was last week and I won't be having one until June 10th. A big change for me since for the past 6 weeks, I've had at least one ultrasound a week. I know it will be worth the wait when we find out the genders on June 10th. Can't wait for that day! It will finally seem real to me to put a name to each of them. My husband and I have yet to agree on names although I think we have settled on the middle name. I figure when we find out what they all are, we can really sit down and focus on the names rather then go back and forth on what we like or not like. My good friend is also pregnant (5 weeks ahead of me) and found out yesterday she is having a girl *yeah* and thank goodness she told me the name they picked out already so I feel safe there. I would feel incredibly sad if her and I liked the same name!

We are moving from our 2 bedroom condo into our 3 bedroom home June 4th so that has been the big thing going on these days. I am doing most of the light packing and my husband has been focusing on getting friends to help on moving day, resurfacing the hardwood floors, buying boxes, etc. I will be so happy when this move finally happens and be done! Also I think I have mentioned that our next door neighbor is suing us for our hardwood floors/noise transmission and the meditation for that is June 6th and I hope the whole case is dropped so we can move on with our lives and start really focusing on these babies!

We started dabbling in our registry and that is super overwhelming! What do you buy for three babies? Do we use cloth or disposable this or that? Ahhhh! So much to think about! Luckily when I go out on bedrest between 20-24 weeks I can focus on that via the internet and do some research. This whole thing will be a trial and error for us and hoping that people want to give us their gently used furniture/baby items.

I feel like I am growing every week....my belly measured a whole inch from last week so that is promising. A lot of people tell me that they were much bigger at 14 weeks with a singleton. Is that suppose to be reassuring to me? LOL! I am not getting too worked about it...everyone's bodies are different and I am glad that I am not blowing up too quickly because I know I will get really big really fast with three and wish I could move around like I can now.

Here is my latest photo taken today before yoga class....14 weeks and 1 day! Love you all!! xoxo

13 weeks!

Above is the picture taken of me on Mother's Day at almost 13 weeks pregnant!

May 9th...this was the week that we had scheduled to do our IVF retrieval and transfer. I remember when we initially scheduled it at the end of January how far away it seemed and how anxious I was. It's sort of strange in a good way though to sit here and reflect....being 13 weeks pregnant with triplets! I feel so blessed and lucky that we never had to go through IVF.

Today I had my first Perinatology appt with my new high risk doctor. I was so happy to see the babies again on the ultrasound screen. My doctor explained all the complications and risks, what to expect as far as pre-term labor. I liked her a lot but found it kind of weird that she didn't even help to wipe off the ultrasound goop off my belly after the appt was over or that she left the door open when she walked out of the room. Really??!! I'm half naked on the table! A tad big annoying!

So after being spoiled with three ultrasounds in the last 8 days, alas I will not be seeing our babies again until June 10th at our big ultrasound. It will be exciting to find out the genders for sure at that point.

I did have one scary scenario happen this past weekend! We went to Palm Springs for a wedding and the day after, we went on this tram that took you up to the top of the mountain. Palm Springs has an elevation of about 400 feet and this tram took you up to over 8,000 feet within about 15 minutes. I probably should not have done it. I was okay going up and a bit winded at the top due to the thin air but coming down was awful! The ride down was crowded, hot and someone was breathing on me that had just drank hazelnut coffee Blah! I just latched on to my husband and did the best with breathing I could. We were getting close to the end and I thought I might lose it. I was getting super light headed, my vision was blackening and I felt my legs getting wobbly. My husband held me tight and talked me through it all telling me that we were almost there, when people were leaving and when the car was empty so we could leave without bumping into any one. I hit the fresh air and thought I might collapse but luckily a chair was nearby and I sat down immediately. I leaned over the rail and threw up a tiny bit which made me feel better! The driver of the car told me I looked really white LOL! Luckily he had a bottle of water to give me and I graciously took it from him. After a few minutes I was feeling better and we all went to eat after and I have felt good ever since. I will not be pushing myself like that again!

I have my first prenatal Yoga class this Wed that I am looking forward to. My hospital also offers a Mommy-to-Be class the second Monday of the month. I went to my 2nd class today and it's so neat to meet other Mom's and just sit around talk about our pregnancies and ask questions conducted by a Health Educator/Doula. All of them are having singletons and find me fascinating to talk to LOL! I swear...these kids are already celebrities ;)

My doctor says to expect to go out on Bedrest about 20 weeks to 24 weeks. That is right around beginning of July. Not looking forward to it but it will be best for the babies I am sure and I could probably use the down time to prepare things online before they come.

Other then that...feeling great! Wearing my maternity clothes and growing my belly!

I know the babies' gender(s)! (maybe!)

So the NT scan went great....boy was it long! I was there almost 2 hours. Felt bad for the nurse because her arm and eyes were getting tired and she had to take a couple of breaks. Pretty cool to have the ultrasound on my belly! All babies checked out fine at this point with Baby A and B measuring the same and Baby C a few days behind and a little smaller. It was so cool to see them moving about and I finally heard heartbeats!! Baby A was the wild one moving around like crazy! It was so neat!

So the doctor when she came in after the nurse did the measurements asked if I wanted to know gender and I said yes. She told me it might not be exact but that she could try to guess. Well funny thing...her thoughts correlated exactly what the nurse thought! Not getting hopes up because anything can change but it would be super cool if my intuition was right since the beginning!

Sooooooo if everything today was accurate, Baby A and B are.......I'm keeping it to myself for now =P heheh

Other good news, the doctor called me back last night and reported that the babies are at low risk for downs syndrome and other birth defects! Such a relief!!!

Off to pack for Palm Springs now! I tried the bridesmaid dress on Wed and my husband said "Thank God the wedding is this weekend!". I am sort of popping out....but my boobs look great ;)

12 weeks!!

(This journal was written on Monday May 2, 2011)

So my triplets are 12 weeks tomorrow! Pretty exciting! So much to talk about in this journal!

So to start it off, my husband and I had planned this nice weekend get away to Wine Country this weekend as sort of a late birthday gift for me. We left Saturday and toured some wineries and my husband got to sample some wine. Lucky me got the discounted kids' rate and drank homemade apple juice! It was SO hot in Napa....I was realizing then that pregnancy and heat do not mix and I usually am a hot sun lover. Several times I had to stop and take a break because I really thought I might pass out. Ugh! But we took our time and my husband was very understanding although I am sure he was annoyed...he likes to Go Go Go! Usually I do too....but not these days. We enjoyed a wonderful dinner Saturday night and my husband got us the cutest little cottage for the night. It was wonderful! Just exactly what we needed! Oh and as we were shopping around that afternoon...ran into a consignment shop and bought some Gap Maternity Jeans for $7! Score! What a deal! Sunday we went downtown and ran into a Tamale Festival which was awesome...I chowed down on two yummy tamales. My husband had a surprise for me at 1pm so I was anxious to find out what it was. Finally time to go and his surprise was a Mom-to-Be bath and prenatal massage!! How sweet is that!!! I was totally not expecting that and I felt bad that he spent so much money on it but I guess it was my birthday weekend and he really enjoyed his bath and massage too.

We had found a triplets stroller on Craigslist that we were interested in buying. The gal was selling it for $350 (she bought it for $1200 brand new when she first had her triplets). I thought it was cool and also sort of coincidental that she lived in Napa and we were going there that weekend! We never go to Napa so I felt like it was meant to be. We met with her at 4 and I got to meet her 2 boys and a girl. Nicest lady and we tried so hard to squeeze that huge stroller into the back of my little Mazda 3 hatchback but we did it! She also gave us a crib matteress and a bunch of other things. She was trying to give me 2 cribs too but we were filled to the max. So sweet! I was glad we got it and we are happy with the purchase. Yeahh! One big thing off the list to get!

Today was my first doctor's appt with a regular Ob/Gyn! I was sooo nervous because I just was so worried that something happened to one of our triplets. Just always expecting the worst I guess. Well happy to report that all three are growing right along with little heartbeats and I saw one do a somersault! How cool! hehe The doctor was really nice and of course went over all the stuff they told me before about complications with triplets and how I might wind up with all three in wheelchairs or all three could be totally healthy. Way to go to be a downer but I kept positive and said we did not want to reduce and I felt great and that we were just going to take things as they come. She went over all kinds of regular check up things with me. Explained to me that my Perinatologist will probably be my main doctor through this whole experience. I meet her next Monday. I might meet with this Ob/Gyn a few more times but more then likely move right on over to the high risk specialist which is fine with me. Tomorrow I have my nuchal scan which I hear for me is going to take about 3 hours! Wow! LOL! They had to block out three appt times just for me. Looking forward to that and seeing my babies again. What a treat to see them all 3 times in 8 days (including the appt next Monday!)

I celebrated with the great ultrasound by heading to the maternity store. I have not bought any clothes yet but I am noticing that I am growing. My belly button has changed...it's kind of a cute thing. It's not as deep as it use to be! So I went to the store and looked around. Tried on a million things it seemed. I called my husband and asked him how much I could spend because he said I could put the maternity clothes on our joint account (awesome!) LOL! I got quite a few things...probably more then I should have but definitely things I will wear again and all summery light things....a cotton summery dress, 2 t-shirts, khaki shorts, gray cargo light material pants and a bathing suit and cover up! I look forward to wearing all of them. I am in a wedding in Palm Springs this weekend where its suppose to hit 100 degrees so the new clothes might work out perfect with the hot weather. Not going to invest into too much work clothes because I can improvise with the belly band and I have quite a few empire waist work shirts.

So that is my update....I will post some pictures for everyone. My husband is bringing me home Taco Bell for dinner! For some reason, that sounds AMAZING to me right now LOL!