Brandon Tsai has Arrived!!

Brandon Tsai is here!! A quick rundown....he was born Friday October 14th at 11:02pm weighting 3 lbs 11 oz and measuring 13 inches. Super small guy but the NICU doctors say that he behaves like a full term baby and has had ZERO complications...completely breathing on his own, no jaundice or eating issues. He has not been hooked up to anything! The only reason he is in the NICU is because of his weight. He is just a truly amazing little guy...so strong for being so darn little! The nurses all love him and everyone says he is so beautiful. I am so proud!

So now you guys are probably wondering why he came on Friday and not as scheduled for the 25th. I went in for my scheduled NST Friday morning...that showed no issues and that Brandon was moving a lot and his heartrate was great. This was also the day we had a Level 2 ultrasound to check on him. I had not seen him on the Level 2 ultrasound since his sister passed a month before so I was nervous. Those ultrasounds seem to always bring us bad news. The technician did the measurments on him and although he appeared to be perfectly fine...he was measuring 4 lbs 7 oz which was considered 3 weeks behind. My Dr (Dr Lin) was at another hospital nearby but the doctor on duty consulted with me and Dr Lin and we all agreed....this guys needs to come out NOW! He is showing signs of IUGR exactly like his sisters and we were all not going to take that chance of losing him. So off I went to Labor and Delivery and got admitted. My husband showed up about 2 hours later with my hospital stuff. We made all of the appropriate phone calls and got the word out that this baby was coming soon!

Once I was in the L&D room, it was a lot of waiting and waiting.....I was not allowed to eat which was TORTURE! The last time I had eaten was breakfast at 9:30am. I should have known better and snuck a quick lunch in before heading to L&D ;) They set me up on an IV drip and got me started on pitocin, an antibiotic for Strep B and a few other things. They did a few ultrasounds on him and basically we were just waiting and waiting. My Mom had shown up as well as my husband's Mom and my Dad and his wife. It wasn't necessary for them to show up since I didn't want anyone in the room for the birth but my husband but I know they were all excited. All of the doctors and nurses were certain that Brandon wasn't coming until Saturday morning. I was still 3 cm dilated which was a great start. At 10:30pm, I was contracting very well on my own and was not in a lot of pain. The doctor then broke my water at 10:30pm and had given me a little something to take the edge off of that. Well that didn't last long at all and at 10:40pm, the contractions became VERY strong and painful. I was clenched to the railing of my bed and was hurting so bad that I thought I might break the bed. The epidural was still not available and I could not stand the pain....it was the worst pain of my life! I remember just yelling out "HELP!! I hurt so bad!" It was truly awful. My Mom had left right before they broke my water but my Dad and Step Mom and Mother in Law were still hanging around. I finally told them that they had to leave...my Dad looked scared and so he made a beeline for the door and left without saying goodbye LOL! On the way out the door my Step-Mom heard me tell the doctors "Oh my God! I feel like I have to push!!". She knew that I was going to have this baby very soon so they all sat in the waiting room instead of heading home (which I had no idea about until after!) I was so bummed because Dr Lin had called earlier and said that she would come if I went into labor that night but she still wasn't there yet. She finally showed up 15 minutes before he was born YEAH!! I was so happy she was going to be there! The doctors and nurses kept telling me "DO NOT PUSH!" The doctors and nurses were not ready yet LOL! Oh my God! It was the craziest feeling....it hurt so bad and I had the biggest urge to push and I had to clench my butt checks HARD to prevent from pushing. Finally Dr. Whitney tells me that the epidural will not be there for at least 20 minutes (OMG!!) I knew I could not wait. She asks me if I want to try and deliver without an epidural and I yelled out YES!! I was moaning and making noises that I never imagined would ever come out of me LOL! They got my legs up and I started to push. I think I pushed maybe 8 times...and at 11:02pm, Brandon slipped out and was born. He popped out so fast that Hsien was shocked that the doctors caught him as quick as he slipped out. Brandon let out a huge cry and it was the most surreal moment....he was born finally! They quickly laid him on my chest and asked Hsien to cut his cord shortly after. It was amazing!!!! I did tear which was sewn up after and Hsien was just so impressed with me....he kept saying how awesome I was LOL! They took him away briefly for measurements and to get him wrapped up and warm. I was SHOCKED when I was told that he weighted only 3 lbs 11 oz and was 13 inches long! LITTLE GUY! See...those ultrasounds are never right! Ugh! I was really concerned about him being so tiny but I knew he would be okay in the NICU and was just so grateful that he appeared okay and that he was finally born. So Brandon's birth was the easy part LOL! Now on to the hard part of the night.....

After the took Brandon away to the NICU, my husband went there with him for a little while where my Dad, StepMom and Mother in Law got to meet him for the first time. I was still in the L&D room in pain and dreading the next part....pushing out my stillborn daughters. I wasn't sure how this was going to go but by that time I hurt so badly and the epidural had finally shown up that I took it. It really eased up the pain a lot and was not as bad as I had expected it to be. The doctors and nurses went about their business for a while and waited for the epidural to take effect. I laid there for 4 hours waiting in anticipation and nerves. I was more nervous about delivering these babies and kept having slight anxiety and panic about resting and falling asleep. I just wanted it done and over with! My husband was able to get some rest and I laid there and waited for the drugs to take their effect. I didn't like the way that the epidural didn't allow me to feel contractions so it was hard to know when to push. I think that was why it took so long to deliver the girls. At 4am, Dr Lin and Dr Whitney came in and sat down and both gently worked on pushing on my stomach and asking me to push at certain times. They were being SO considerate and respectful about it. Dr Lin even said that I didn't have to push if I was not up for it because she really felt sad for me. I told her it was okay and that I was okay with pushing and speeding up the process of birthing the girls. It took over an hour of massaging my belly and pushing on my part and them reaching in with their fingers to pull the girls out. Finally at 5:11am, both girls were out and so were all of the placentas. I did not see any of it as requested. Hsien stood next to me and held my hand the whole entire time. All of the remains were taken away and are currently in the morgue. The social worker who met with me the next morning gave me information on what to do and so I will make phone calls tomorrow to make arrangements for cremation.

As sad as it was to birth them, I was also relieved to have it all over. I was exhausted by this time and just really wanted to sleep. I was finally given something to eat at 6am and got maybe 2 hours of sleep before we were moved to a new room.

Saturday morning was a bit chaotic....I was functioning on zero sleep, seeing family that had come to visit and meeting all of the nurses and doctors after like the lactation consultant, social worker, NICU doctor and making several visits to the NICU to see our little guy. On top of that I was pumping every few hours which was such a foreign new concept to me LOL! Wow and my nipples are sore ;) Still not getting any milk from them but the NICU nurse has been able to squeeze them a few times to get some colostrum out to give to Brandon. Our last guests left at 9pm last night and Hsien and I quickly went to bed and slept as well as we could with nurses coming in to check in on me. Oh and last night, the birth certificate recorder came in to see me and double check spellings and to give me a copy of Brandon's unofficial birth certificate and information about his social security card. This was the time where I REALLY cried...I mean really cried hard. I felt so much emotions at this time...I just could not stop crying. It was a strange feeling. I could not believe I was holding my son's birth certificate who was born early, so tiny and had all of the odds stacked against him and he is OKAY! And I also felt some mourning for our girls and I cried for them too but I was very at peace with them being gone. I know this sounds weird and I feel a bit guilty admitting this but being with Brandon I feel SO MUCH LOVE for him that I cannot imagine sharing that love. Is that crazy? Part of me feels quilty thinking that and tears are streaming down my face writing this but I think he has been a great distraction for me and that I will heal better now.

Sunday morning we slept in a little while and after having some blood work done early that morning, the doctors were worried about my blood count and wanted me to have more blood drawn and to not be discharged until after those results. I was really hoping to not have to stay another night in the hospital if possible. I continued my pumping and got to make several visits to Brandon in the NICU. We only had 2 guests that day and it was my husband's parents so it was okay. About 2pm, Hsien and I packed up the room and he wheeled our stuff out of the room while the nurses and doctors checked on me. They said that my anemia was better and that I could go home that day. I was prescribed lots of Iron pills, stool softners and prescription strength Motrin for the cramping. And it's truly crazy how much you bleed after labor! Saturday I was bleeding a lot and the bathroom looked like we had killed a small animal anytime I went to use the bathroom! It has finally subsided and is much lighter now. After I pump, I get super crampy and that is when I do most of my bleeding. After I was examined, we saw Brandon for about an hour and got to feed him and kiss him before we said our small "See you Later Alligator". Hsien and I were both really tired and with being in the hospital, my husband developed a low-grade fever and I felt like crap so we knew it was best to head home, rest in our beds and get better for our little guy who might be coming home as early as Tuesday!

Hsien and I got home about 6pm Sunday night and now we are home resting. Monday my Dad came over in the morning to take down the second crib, put up a few things in Brandon's room and help us install the car seat. While they did that, I made a few phone calls and put things away and also wash all of the preemie clothes for Brandon to wear. After we get the house in order and we are feeling good, we went to the NICU and visit Brandon. I can't wait to see him again! Oh and tonight I was using my pump and I actually got a tiny bit of colustrum and milk to come out! Yeah! It's working....just have to keep up the pumping as much as I can!

So for now, that is Brandon's birth story! I just feel so so lucky that he is doing as well as he is for such a small young guy! He really does have his Guardian Angel sisters watching over him! With all of the drama that we had during the pregnancy, it's like our luck totally took a turn for the much better and from the moment he was born, we have had nothing but wonderful news! I hope it keeps coming and that from here on out, our little man is nothing short of a miracle.

Here are the photos on my Facebook of the birth of Brandon if you want to check them out. I will keep them public briefly.

https://www.facebook.com/#!/media/set/?set=a.10150275145219649.286856.632429648&type=1