Bitter

Well the good news is Baby B is still alive and moving alot.

The bad news is that her amniotic fluid is low and continues to have placental issues and lower growth.

The doctor is very concerned and will see me again next week to check her growth and fluids. She discussed early delivery which we are not going to do yet (and she advised to wait a few more weeks). We are thinking to wait until at least 28 weeks since so many complications and problems can happen between 24-26 weeks. The doctor also recommended possibly me staying in the hospital within the next week or so until I give birth. We met with the NICU doctor today after our appt to go over statistics of outcomes for babies born before 28 weeks. Heartbreaking!

The appt next Wed will give us more information. Honestly I will not be surprised if Baby B has no heartbeat next week. I am tired of being optomistic and upbeat when all it has done is bring us constant pain and heartache. The likleyhood of her surviving is so slim.....I do agree that miracles happen but I dunno....it just seems so unlikly that the outcome will be good for her. We do have a healthy baby boy that I am totally grateful every day for but incredibly sad for because he will never get to meet or know his sisters.

I just don't get it...I feel like we we had everything and were on top of the world and then poof! taken away in an instance. Why does this happen? I feel sorry for my babies.....I have had such an easy pregnancy and have felt great while they sit there and struggle to survive. I don't get it....they never did anything wrong.

I'm sad...I'm bitter....this wasn't suppose to be the way it happens. My husband and I named Baby B today but it makes me so so sad.