Yesterday Aunt Flo came....I hate that Bitch! I was pretty sad when it happened because that meant that IUI attempt #2 failed. I was feeling so hopeful about it as well. I kept saying that if it worked that my baby would be born in my favorite month: September! Well that reality is long gone now. After the initial sadness, I made a new appt to start IUI cycle #3.
Today brought on many unexpected surprises. When I went in for an exam...the doctor found two cysts on my ovaries. =( Heart crushing. It took everything from me not to lose it in the exam room. I wanted to cry so hard. Another kick to the stomach when I was already down. The doctor said that I needed to take a break this month for the cysts to dissolve before we moved on. F*CK!!! Another month wasted. I asked her how many IUIs I should do before I moved on to IVF. She recommended one more due to my low egg quality. I asked if I could have some more information on IVF and she was able to schedule me an appt the end of this month with their IVF doctor. This is great! I had no idea that Kaiser did IVF. I looked up the doctor and she has good marks so that made me feel better. More then likely I will stick with Kaiser and do IVF with them. I thought a lot about this and I think I want to move straight into IVF after my month off. It will cost at least $3k for the IUI next round which may or may not work (more so not work). I would rather use that $3k towards IVF which will cost about $12-$15k. I have a much higher chance of getting pregnant with IVF and I really feel like this is the next step in my infertility journey. I am not scared, nervous or anything....just anxious to get it started. Of course spending the money scares the hell out of me but what can I do? It's a small price to pay I guess if we do get pregnant. I have the month to really think about this. I am also going to research IVF scholarships and apply for those. Saving any amount of money will help with all of this. Now how to come up with $15k? That is something that Hsien and I will have to be creative about. We have it in our 401k which we might withdraw from and take the penalty. Who knows...I am not sure how we will finance the IVF but we will make it happen.
Yesterday I was pretty sad when my period come but after Hsien sent this text, I knew I was the luckiest girl in the world.
"I am sorry to hear the news. We will get through this together".
He is so awesome! I truly am blessed to be married to Hsien! I guess if anything, I married the right guy the first time and we can get through anything together. I am so happy to be with him! How did I get so lucky? And the funny thing is...he says he is the lucky one! Nahhhh....I am!
So here I am...with two cysts on my left ovary! I was wondering why I wasn't feeling well the past week. I thought I was getting the sickies like everyone else. Nope...just cysts. Blah! I hope they go away soon! All the hormones and drugs in my system probably brought them on. I am really okay with this break now....I almost feel like it was meant to be and that it brought on a whole revelation to move towards IVF.
Maybe this will finally happen after all!
Not sure how much I will update this month since I am on a break but thank you for reading and being a part of my crazy infertile life!
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